Part of being able to influence and persuade others has to do with getting people to like you.  Isn’t it true that it is EXTREMELY difficult to persuade someone when they don’t like you?  Of course!

So the question becomes…how do you get others to like you?  Sounds like a simple thing, right?  And yet, there are MANY people out there who are not likable.  There are a number of ways to get others to like you.  Here is one of them….

In order to have influence on others, you need to get them to like you by taking an interest in others.  What is the NUMBER ONE thing that people think about during their day?  They think about THEMSELVES!  We as humans think about ourselves more than any other topic.  And that is not necessarily a bad thing.  If we don’t think about ourselves, we won’t take care of ourselves.  It is the natural order of things. 

So when we take an interest in the other person, when we get them to talk about themselves.  Take a genuine interest in the other person.  Learn as much as you can about the other person, regardless of how you feel about them.  You will be much more likeable to them if you do this.  Why?  Because when you get the other person to talk about themself, they are discussing their favorite topic.  They can’t help but NOT like you.  You have taken an INTEREST in them.  Don’t YOU like people who are genuniely interested in you?  You can’t HELP but like that other person.

My ex-wife is a master at this.  I am always amazed at how good she is at this.  When I see her talk with others, she seems to be able to get the other person to talk about themselves while at the same time, she doesn’t talk about herself at all, or very little.  She has been this way as long as I have known her since 1985.  She was actually where I learned this skill.  Even now, when we talk, I am amazed because she gets me talking about myself before I realize what is going on.  I still don’t know how she does it, either.  And the funny thing is…..I use this technique every day at work and I recognize it when it is used on me!  And yet, for some reason, whenever I talk with her, she STILL, to this day, gets me to talk about myself while NOT talking about herself.  Even when I make a concerted effort to make sure I ask about her and try to listen and ask more, she is STILL able to turn the conversation back to me and gets me to talk about myself.  Truly amazing!

I asked her last week, while we were talking on the phone, why she does this.  Her honest answer was, “Well, really, I just don’t think that my life is very interesting to other people and I assume that they really aren’t interested in it.”  Well….NOW I know her secret!  LOL.  And, quite honestly, I know that she is very well liked by the people she surrounds herself with.  I know that this is not a coincidence.

I really think that is a very humble answer.  This business of influence and persuasion depends on developing an attitude of genuine interest in the other person.  Being genuinely interested in others requires humility.  We need to check our ego at the door and leave “me” out of the conversation.  Realisitically, you will have much more influence on others by LISTENING to others.  By taking an interest in them.  A GENUINE interest.  Keep that in mind.

I’ll discuss other ways to get others to like you in other posts.

More another time,

Tim

Imagine for a minute that you are going fishing.  You grab your fishing gear, your tackle box, and a box that says “bait” that you put together.  You get your boat ready, hook it up to your vehicle, and head off with whomever you are going fishing with.

You arrive at your destination, put your boat in the water, put your fishing gear, your tackle box, and your box that says “bait” into the boat.  You make sure that everyone has life preservers, and set out on your fishing activities.

You get your boat to the spot that you feel will allow you to catch the most fish.  You drop anchor, and prepare your rod and reel for catching your first fish.  You have your nets ready once you have reeled them in.  You have everything ready to start, and open up the box that says “bait”.  You pull out the contents of that box, and your fishing partner asks you a very relavent question….

“Why are there chocolate bars in the bait box?”

You answer him, “Bait is used to attract.  I like chocolate, so I figured that chocolate would be good bait for us to use.”

“You dummy” says your partner.  “We aren’t here to catch YOU!  We are here to catch FISH!  Fish don’t eat chocolate!  They eat WORMS!  How are you going to catch fish if you can’t attract them?  You have to have bait that the FISH will like, not bait that YOU will like!”

Kind of a ridiculous story, don’t you think?

And yet, it has a very good parallel in the area of influence and persuasion.  Dale Carnegie once wrote in his book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” that “There is only one way under high heaven to get anyone to do anything…and that is by making the other person want to do it.”  (See Chapter 2 of his book)

There are many ways to do this; some legal and some not.  You could use a weapon to get a person to “want” to do something, but that is not legal.  You can get an employee to want to do something by threatening to fire them if they don’t do what you want.  But these ways are what is called “extrinsic” ways of persuasion.  In other words, an outside influence “makes” you do it under a threat.  What would be better would be what is called “intrinsic” motivation.  That is, motivation that comes from within a person.  It is something that THEY want to do rather than something that someone else wants them to do.

On the same page, Dale Carnegie had this to say, “The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want.” 

That is a win-win situation.  You get what you want, and I get what I want.  Pretty simple, right?  So how do you know what people want?

The human race as a group have common wants.  John Dewey once said that the most important want in a person’s life is “the desire to be important.”  Other common wants of people include:

1. Health and the preservation of life
2. Food
3. Sleep
4. Money and the things that money will buy
5. Life in the hereafter
6. Sexual gratification
7. The well-being of our children
8. A feeling of importance

All of these wants are usually taken care of…all except one.  7 of them are routinely satisfied, but one is consistently NOT satisfied.  That is what John Dewey called “The desire to be important.”

Let’s face it.  Everyone likes a sincere compliment.  Everyone likes to be appreciated.  People will go out of their way for others and will be satisfied with a sincere and genuine “Thank You.”  My Pastor, David Wiersbe, makes a point of this after every church service.  Everyone that participates in the Sunday morning worship service, whether it be reading Scripture, leading music, playing the piano or organ, or leading a prayer, Dave sends them a thank you note in the mail.  When I would lead music in church, I knew that sometime that week, there would be a thank you note in my post office box.  Even though I read his book that I linked above before I experienced these notes in my mailbox, it still made me feel appreciated when I received one.

The way that you get your feeling of importance reveals your character.  It determines who you are.  Conversely, who you are will also determine how you get your feeling of importance met.  The two work hand in hand.  People will do mighty things to have their name etched in stone, or have a building or a city named after them. 

Some people will do the opposite to receive their feeling of importance.  John Dillinger took pride in being public enemy number one.  Right after the 2006 election, people started to declare themselves candidates for President of the United States!  States moved up their Presidential Primary Elections so that their state could have an influence on who is nominated.  Why?  In part, to feel important…significant.

So here is a pretty simple formula to getting people to do what you want them to do - make that person or group feel important.  Be sincere.  Remember, people have VERY STRONG BS detectors, so don’t give a phoney compliment.  They will see through that.  Make others feel important and significant.  Appreciate them.  Thank them.  As long as you are sincere, specific, and telling the truth, you stand a MUCH better chance of getting others to do what you want them to do.

More another time,

Tim

Lately, I have been intensifying my study of body language.  I am finding that people communicate MORE with their body language than verbally.  That may be common knowledge, but I am finding that by watching people’s body language, combined with a good working knowledge of people’s temperments, allows me to practically “read a person’s mind”, so to speak. 

Obviously, no one can read minds.  Honestly, I don’t WANT to read people’s minds.  I am afraid of what I might learn.    Did you ever watch that Mel Gibson movie called “What Women Want”?  That is “Must See” material for this topic.

Anyway, here is my main point:

I believe in making every situation a win-win situation.  I am a salesman for my day job (I work for Alltel now).  I am sure that when you think of a salesman, you think of someone who is pushy; someone who is trying to “Sell” you something.  My approach is quite different.

I like a term that I learned from Zig Ziglar.  He says that rather than being a salesperson, become an “assistant buyer” for your customer.  Learn what their situation is, learn what they want, learn what they need, and try to “assist” them in the “buying” process.  So many sales trainers talk about the sales process, as though it is only seen through the salesperson’s point of view.  I like to think of it more as looking at the situation from the customer’s point of view.  If I can, as a salesperson, solve the customer’s problem, I am not really selling them anything, am I?  I am just becoming an “assistant buyer” for them.  This changes them from a “customer” to a “client”. 

Ok, there are several concepts in that last paragraph, but it gives you a perspective of where I am coming from.  And I am not trying to turn you into a salesperson.  I am trying to give you some insight on how these concepts can help you succeed in everyday life, whether you are in sales or in other lines of work.  So here we go.  HOW do I find how to solve my customer’s problem?  Hint:  look at the title of this blog post.

1. Listen.  Remember this phrase, “Hearing involves the ears.  Listening involves the brain.”  You MUST listen with your ears, eyes, brain, and body.  Yes, you must HEAR what the person is saying, but you must also DEMONSTRATE that you are listening.  Remember my previous blog post where I said, “If you want to know, look at their toes.”?  Well, the reverse is true, too.  TURN your body (including your toes) towards the person who you are listening to.  Square your shoulders towards them.  Your toes should point in their direction.  Look at the spot of their nose that is between their eyes.  Obviously, don’t STARE at them, but make eye contact when they are speaking.  People will know you are LISTENING to them if you turn your body towards them and look them in the eye.  They will respond favorably to you, too.
2. Watch.  The most obvious thing I can tell you about body language is to WATCH it.  Both the person you are listening to and yours.  Here is the key:  watch for CHANGES in body language.  That might include their posture, what they do with their hands, if they change from looking you in the eye to avoiding eye contact, etc.  Body language in and of itself is most valuable if you observe and evaluate the changes in a person’s body language.  Were their arms unfolded and all of the sudden they are crossed?  If so, what just happened to make them do that?  Did they suddenly turn their body?  Why?  Did they suddenly get closer or farther away from you?  Why?  Did their demeanor change from happy to angry?  Why did that happen?  Make mental notes of changes and try to evaluate why the changes occured.
3. Ask questions, but don’t interrupt.  Asking questions does two things.  It helps you to understand what the other person is saying, and it shows them that you were listening and are interested in what they have to say.  The hard part is to not interrupt.  When people are conversing with another person, they don’t always actually LISTEN, but they are thinking of what to say next while the person is speaking to them.  Have you ever done that?  Have you ever tuned someone out while they were telling you something because you were thinking of what to say next?  It is hard to actively listen, and it takes practice.  When we tune someone out to think of what to say next, many times we interrupt them.  This is about the worst thing you can do if you are trying to influence someone.  Interrupting someone tells them that what they are saying is unimportant to you.
4. Repeat to show understanding.  When you are listening to someone, it helps at times to repeat what they are saying back to them.  Once the other person is finished, repeat their point back to them in your own words or, when appropriate, use their own words.  You are working for understanding here, so that you are on the “same page” as they are. 
5. Paint a Picture.  Dramatize things with your own body language to illustrate your point.  When you are proposing a solution to the other person’s problem, be sure to dramatize things for them.  Telling a person something is one thing, but your job is to help them understand what you are saying.  Maybe you have to get out a piece of paper and actually draw a picture for them.  Maybe you have to use a prop as a reference point.  Remember, some people learn by hearing, some by seeing, some by doing, some by touching, etc.  We all learn in different ways.  Don’t assume that the other person understands what you are saying.  Use the 5 senses to your advantage to illustrate what you are saying.
6. Check your ego at the door.  As humans, we think about ourselves over 90% of the time.  That is the natural order of things, and it is not necessarily a bad thing.  Remember that we must take care of ourselves first before we can help others.  Even when we are helping others, our motives tend to be to try to feel good about ourself for helping the other person or people.  The primary motive still is to benefit ourself and our self-esteem through helping other people.  HOWEVER…you will have more influence with others if you will “check your ego at the door”.  Zig Ziglar says it best, “You can get everything you want out of life if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”  Your objective should be to help the other person by solving their problem.  Don’t make the conversation all about you.  As a matter of fact, try to leave the situation knowing as much as possible about the other person while at the same time revealing as little about yourself as possible.  Obviously, if they ASK you about yourself, answer them, but try to turn the conversation back on them.  The #1 thing that people like to talk about is themselves.
7. Make it Win-Win.  Your job in influencing the other person requires you to make these situations win-win.  You may gain something in the short term by taking advantage of someone, but in the long term, YOU will be the one who loses.  As I tell people that I encounter in life, people have strong BS detectors.  Most people can see right through you if you are trying to take advantage of them, although they may let you do it.  You can bet that they will not allow you to take advantage of them for very long, though.  Help solve their problem in the way that benefits them the most.  You will gain in the situation, too.

Did you notice something here?  This article is more about problem solving than it is about body language.  Studying people’s body language is an on-going, all the time kind of thing.  But it is not an end unto itself.  It is just one of many components in being successful in your daily life.  Studying the body language of others should help you to benefit them as well as yourself.  In my next article, I’ll try to get more into specific things you can watch for when it comes to body language, what these things might mean, and how this can benefit you.

More another time,

Tim

PS - I invite you to get a FREE copy of “101 Tips For Avoiding Procrastination“.  All you need to do is click here and fill out the form at the bottom of the page.  As a bonus, you will also receive my daily Success Tips newsletter.  365 daily success tips, straight to your inbox.

Last night, I finished my first draft of my manuscript for “Attention Shoppers”, which is the ebook that I had mentioned below.  I have found several things in writing this manuscript.

1. I have earned a tremendous amount of respect for people who are writers.  It is a tough job!  This manuscript is only 42 pages, but it has taken me over a month to get this far.  Actually, I am not sure how long it has taken me to get this far, because my hard drive was wiped out on June 3rd and I did not get it back for about 3 weeks.  I lost all kinds of data and software in the crash.  I think that I started the manuscript at the end of June or the beginning of July, but I may have not even started until the middle or end of July.
2. It can be difficult to get started writing, as I have ADD and I get easily distracted when I get home from work.  I have found that having someone to encourage you to keep working to get it done was a big help.  My thanks to Kris Mainieri for being this person.  I probably would still be sitting here with a half-written manuscript if it wasn’t for his encouragement.  Thanks, Kris!
3. Once I get started writing, I find that it just flows out.  The thing that I have noticed is that I get on my idea, and when I do, I can go from point to point pretty easily.  I suppose that it matters that the subject that I am writing about is very interisting to me.  After all, I LIVED this for a long time, so it was easy to write about it.
4. Once I got to the end of my story, I got to thinking that there was so much more to my experiences.  So I decided last night that I would have to write a “sequel” to this ebook.  I am not sure if I will merge the two together or just keep them separate and call them part 1 and part 2, or what I will do…

I still have to go back through and proofread the manuscript.  I am also planning on having a few other people proofread it, too.  I am hoping to have it in final form soon.  I guess time will tell.

More another time,

Tim

Trying to influence people is hard work.  It takes effort and patience.  It does NOT come naturally.  While it is true that there are some people who have a natural ability to persuade others and generally can influence people, for the rest of us, we have to work at it all the time.

It takes hard work to find the good in people.  It is not something that people do naturally.  If you want to encourage others around you….if you want to motivate others…if you want to get positive results out of others…you must NOT fall prey to the one thing that will destroy ANY chance you have to make a difference.  And it is such a natural thing, that we have to work hard to stop ourselves.

What is it?

If you want to influence others, don’t critcize them.

There is nothing positive that can result from criticizing another person.  And yet, it is so easy to do.  We naturally, as humans, feel the need to see what others are doing, and offer our input.  We are trying to help, right?  They are not doing this and that right, and they need to fix a, b, c, and d in order to accomplish 1, 2, 3, and 4.  And after all, anyone with half a brain can see that they need to do it, right?

There’s the problem.  People are not naturally motivated when others are critical of them.  Rather, people are motivated by ENCOURAGEMENT and COMPLIMENTS.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am not suggesting that you lie and tell the person that they are doing a good job when they are not.  But there is ALWAYS something that a person is doing well.  You probably know from your own experience that you respond better to suggestions from others when you first receive a compliment from them about something that they do well.  Be careful, though, not to follow up every compliment with a “suggestion” or you will condition others to not appreciate your compliments.  Be generous with your compliments and keep suggestions to a minimum.  You will find that you will get better results from people if they see that they have your approval on what they are doing and will also respond better to your recommendations and ideas if you keep them to just a few as compared to your compliments.  People will respect your opinion more often, and you won’t be looked upon with dread when they see you coming.

Also, when you compliment, be specific.  Say something like, “Joe, I just wanted to let you know that you did a great job solving that customer’s problem.  You came up with a very creative way to fix that.  Keep up the great work.”  Being specific makes the compliment more genuine.  If you are just telling people that they are doing a good job without being specific, people will just tune you out.  They won’t think that you are sincere.  It is even worse to just give general compliments to a group.  Just saying “Good Job” all the time without taking the time to say WHAT was good about it will just be ignored after a while.  Then, when you DO give a specific compliment to people, it won’t have the same effect.

So go ahead…tell someone that they did a good job and WHAT it was that they did well.  It will pay great benefits to both them AND you for a long time.

More another time,

Tim

One week from today’s post will be Christmas Day. Christmas brings out the generosity in many people. It also is one of the strongest examples of a concept in sales that is very powerful. Reciprocation.

Quick note here - I realize that it has been a LONG time since I have posted here. I had a career change in August, and have been devoting a LOT of time to it. It wasn’t until just recently that I have had the time to do much with my internet ventures. In the course of that time, I have learned a lot about sales and about life. Hopefully, I will be able to post more here from this point forward.

Anyway, the concept of reciprocation is a basic psychological function of all humans. Reciprocation says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided for us. If someone does us a favor, return the favor. If someone gives us a gift, give them something back. Pretty simple, right?

But Wait….There’s MORE!

I am sure that you have encountered businesses that will give away free items during special events, like grand openings or the like. You may receive a pen imprinted with the company’s phone number and address. Maybe a bank will give away calendars with their business’ name, address, and phone number printed on it. My dad, when he was a realtor, would mail out, to all his clients from the past year, little mini calendars with a magnetic business card attached to it.

Humans in all cultures feel a STRONG need to reciprocate when a gift is given to them or when a favor is done for them, even when the giver does not expect anything in return. The businesses that give away gifts for special events tell you that it is a free gift, but they KNOW that the recipient will have a sense of obligation. It is basic human nature. Both Publisher’s Clearing House and American Family Publishers understood this. They send you a FREE entry form into their drawing. NO OBLIGATION is what they say. BUT….if you would consider, we have a special offer for you. Uh huh….sure….right.

Do you see how POWERFUL this is? As a marketing tactic, this is FANTASTIC. In your personal life, however, it can be seen as….um….well….perhaps a little underhanded? People who give a gift or do a favor for someone else are usually seen with suspicion. That is, if you are doing a favor for someone with the intention of receiving a favor back, others tend to look at you more unfavorably. Especially so if this kind of action is not normal for you. However, if it is normal for you to help others without the expectation of a returned favor, people will think very highly of you.

You see, it’s not the favor itself, but the MOTIVE that matters to people. “It’s the THOUGHT that counts.”

From a marketing standpoint, reciprocation is a very viable tactic. People KNOW that businesses do this, and it is socially acceptable. From a “personal life” point of view, just remember to consider your motives in giving. You can be certain that others will…

More another time,
Tim

One of the things that I try to do during every one of my pitches is to watch my audience.  I talked earlier about paying attention to people’s toes when you want to find out where their interest is at that moment.  Of course, this is only ONE way to find out what a person is thinking about at that moment, and how you can get them to pay attention to what you are telling them.

It has been said that over 55% of all communication is non-verbal.  Some people quote other percentages, but one thing is very clear to me:  if you watch people’s non-verbal postures and movements, you can learn a LOT about what they are thinking.  In most circles, this non-verbal communication is called Body Language.

One quick note here…..proceed with caution in this area.  This is not an exact science, and there is a LOT of room for misinterpretation in this area.

There are alot of clues and cues that you have to be aware of.  Here is the most important one:  changes in body language are the most important things to watch.  If a person is changing their body language, note what they are changing from and to.  This is important.  If they are looking at you and suddenly are looking around, they obviously are no longer listening to you.  There are MANY clues that you can watch.  Much of this takes time and practice.  I will try to include some in future blog entires and teach you how to interpret them.

More another time,

Tim

My day to day “job” entails selling kitchen knives in retail stores.  That may or may not be of interest to you, but it gives me a basis for what I am about to say.

Everyone has knives at home. Can you imagine a house that DOESN’T have kitchen knives at home?  This makes my job much more challenging, to say the least.  When I first mentioned to others that I was thinking of selling kitchen knives in retail stores for a living, people thought I was CRAZY.  Wouldn’t you?  Seriously…..wouldn’t YOU think a person was crazy if they told you that they were going to go into the kitchen knife sales business?

Well, there’s a little more to it than that.  It actually gets WORSE.  Not only does everyone have knives at home, but the nature of what I do is that I get up each day that I work, head to a retail store without any leads, without any clients, and, for the most part, without any assistance from ANYONE.  I let that Electronic Rooster (a Zig Ziglar term for alarm clock…..mine is battery operated so that I will get up even when the power goes out at night) alert me to the presence of morning each day.  I get myself to the store and set up.  On the first day that I am in that store, I have to make contact with a member of management to secure my spot where I will set up.  My company handles getting me in the store, and then I basically take it from there.

By the way, my earnings come 100% from commissions.  I make no hourly wage nor do I draw a salary.  And remember….I sell kitchen kinves in retail stores.  To people who ALREADY HAVE kitchen knives.  Did I mention that before?

Anyway, So now I have my stand set up, I have my inventory organized in my stand, and either I have already purchased my supplies or I have to NOW go and purchase my supplies.  Up to this point, on the first day that I am in a store, I have earned exactly……

Zero.

Actually, less than zero.  I have SPENT money on supplies, possibly a hotel if I had to drive to the town the night before (I am in Milwaukee, WI as I write this….sitting in my hotel room, actually). 

So….supplies are purchased and ready to be used.  Now comes the fun part.  I head to a phone in the store (one that allows me to make Public Address announcements - PA’s for short), punch in the code to make an announcement, and then say those two little words that help me make my living.

“Attention Shoppers……”

Those two little words are EXTREMELY valuable to me.  They start the process of my……..well, it’s called…….my PITCH.

You see, I am a pitchman.  I don’t just sell kitchen knives, I do a brief demonstration of them, first.  This requires me to get shoppers to my stand to watch my demonstration.  In fact, for 2/3 of my demonstration, I don’t try to sell (or pitch) anything.  I am just demonstrating my knives.  Once my demonstration is finished, 2/3 of the way through, THEN I begin to pitch my product. 

For now, I am going to wrap this up, because there are a TON of lessons to be learned from what goes on during my brief demonstration.  More than there is time for now.

My MAIN point for this blog entry was to give you a little feel for WHAT it is that I do and where I am coming from when I make mention of certain things.  The term “pitch” is a shortened version of “sales pitch”.  It has nothing to do with how I deliver knives to customers.  Also, a pitchman is NOT just a salesman.  A pitchman does sell what he is pitching, but he does it in a way that is different from what most salesmen do.  I’ll get into that more later, too. 

My secondary point is actually the one that I put in the title of this entry…..the two little words.  Attention Shoppers.  They are so important to me, that I actually registered them as a domain name.  http://www.attention-shoppers.com  Someone already has that same domain name without the dash.  I don’t have anything there as of now.  I just wanted to reserve the domain for myself once I finish my book, which I will be calling Attention Shoppers.

Anyway, the secondary point here is this:  If you want to sell something to someone, whether it is a product, a service, an idea, or whatever it is, you MUST get the person’s attention.  That may seem obvious, but it is NOT easy to do.  Trying to get someone’s attention and actually having their attention are two VERY different things.  Also, KEEPING their attention once you have it is even MORE difficult.  I’ll have to save that for next time, too, because I have some GREAT tactics for you that salespeople use (pitchmen, too) to GET and KEEP your attention.  They are simple, easy, and may even be obvious to you, but they are necessary, so we will go over these next time.

Until then, thanks for reading.

Tim

Hello, everyone, and Welcome to my new blog.  With this new blog, I am going to be sharing my experiences and knowledge on various tactics that salespeople use so that you can use these tactics in everyday situations.

Let me start out with the one that I think is the “Biggie” when it comes to sales.  Many people know this already, but I am constantly suprised to learn that few people actually USE this information.  This one is called “Body Language”

Here is a quick example that I have learned and used alot in my sales experience.  Remember this phrase:

If you want to Know, look at their Toes.

I made that rhyme up myself.  Don’t laugh.  It’ll help you remember a very important concept.

Let’s say that you are having a conversation with someone in a public place, and you want to find out if they are listening.  By “listening”, I mean that they are not just “hearing” you, but actually “listening” to you.  Hearing involves the ears, but listening involves the BRAIN!

If you want to Know, look at their Toes.  The direction that their toes are pointed in is the direction of their interest.  If their toes are pointed towards you, they are probably listening to you.  If their toes are pointed in a different direction, their subconscious is telling you that their interest is in that direction - i.e. they WANT to head in that direction, but feel obligated to be in your presence.  If what you have to say is important, do something to get their attention.  Perhaps hand them something or ask them a question about how they feel about what you just said.  By asking them how they feel, they can’t just blow you off with a “yes” or “no” answer.  They have to actually think, which means that you now have their attetion.  If what you have to say can wait or is just not important, let them off the hook and let them go on their way.  Be polite to their interests.

More another time.  Hope that helps.

Tim